Share9 with ESPN's Michael Collins
Comedian, caddie and golf writer for ESPN
Sunday, June 10th 2019
By: Wyatt E. Stephens
Photo copyright Getty Images/Michael Reaves. Copyright and used under a Nonprofit Getty Image License
Follow Michael Collins on: Twitter, ESPN and Instagram
Most interesting fact about you: I went from stand-up comedian, to caddie on PGA TOUR to journalist at ESPN.
Background: I was raised by a single Mom as an only child. There are friends that never got out, never got to do what they wanted to do. I was lucky enough to have a base and people around me that allowed me to go and see my options and then that led me to believe that there was an option.
My grandfather lived his life in the best way, he was inspirational and he lived his life that way, no matter what was going on. He taught me you can still be happy if you want to.
The first time that I was ever on a PGA TOUR range [I was] dressed as a caddie and knew nothing about golf. I had Tom Watson come up on the range and ask me about his swing and try to get swing advice. There are so many stories like this that people would say, ‘that’s not real.’
There has been a lot of stories in my life that have led to here, where I am today. It has been a fun and cool ride.
Earliest golf memory: It would be Jack [Nicklaus] in the 1986 Masters. I did not start playing golf until 1993, I really got into golf late. I watched Jack with my grandfather and that was a moment for me when I looked at golf a little differently than I had in the past. It took awhile for me to get to the game. I didn’t really know if it was a sport and a place where I could necessarily be accepted.
Who did you learn the game from? Another comedian by the name of Lee Shaeffer. He told me that I had to learn how to play golf, and it just turned out that he played golf as a leftie like me. He had wedges and a putter, which he would let me borrow as I tried to swing a club right-handed.
Your lowest personal score: 71, I have shot that three times. Way back in the day [laughs].
Your ideal foursome: I never got to play with Arnie [Arnold Palmer] so I would love to play with Arnie. I would also want to play with Bobby Jones so I can find out his thoughts on nerves. For Arnie, I would want to hear all the stories, the whispering stories and identify which stories were really true and which ones were spread between locker rooms. I would also love to play with Jesus and find out what we got right, and what we got wrong. Jesus would have to give a lot of shots though. Even if Mandela did or did not play golf, I would enjoy picking his brain, to go, ‘how did you manage never get up?’ What is it really that made you get up and go, ‘I am not standing down.’ That is kind of determination that we all need to get up and have.
My alive foursome: Tiger, George Lopez, Obama and I would leave the fourth slot open.
What about golf makes you most proud? I love this game because it is in everything and it can never be perfected. I think that is where I love it so much. No matter what you do, it is impossible to be the same person. A game that gives you an opportunity knowing that perfection is not attainable. You will always leave something out there and that is life. There is no such thing as saying, ‘I did everything that I wanted to do.’ You shoot a 59 or 58, there is always better.
I asked Jim Furyk what did it feel like to shoot a 58 and his response, ‘it was one more than shooting a 57.’ That is the beauty, but it is also a sport that does not care about how much money you have, or how much you do not have. The golf ball does not care about who you are. The fact that you can play with a billionaire and a homeless guy in a foursome, would be as much fun as all corporate [players].
The more hardships that you go through, the better outlook that you have on life.
Best advice received: There are two. Enjoy the ride and happiness is a choice.
How many people in any situation always look at the worst part? How many people look at a situation and go, ‘well, maybe I can do this.’
I was sitting down talking to a guy and he said, essentially, that we get to put the cassette that we want to put in our heads. You get to decide what CD plays, what song is played. Don’t pop in the, ‘poor me,’ or ‘nothing will ever work out’ cassette, you can only blame yourself if you do.
There are many people that play the game of golf, that do well. I care the most about how did you get here? I do not necessarily care how you hit a seven-iron, but what is it that makes me want to want to grab a beer or get dinner [with you]. That is what matters, because your title is not going to be forever: movie star or golfer.
It might be that homeless dude, the one in my foursome, you are going to be just as cool as the billionaire. Who knows, that billionaire might have been the homeless guy at one point too.
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